IT's day 7. I couldn't start blogging from day 1 because I didn't start blogging from day 1, so 7 will have to do.
Alvin just left the house, meaning its me and Ella again. Alone. So fun.
Miracles of miracles, I've managed to get my Microsoft Word starting again. And by 'managed' I mean 'Have no idea what happened but one day it wasn't working and today it is'. So that means fareWELL Google Docs and hello, [SHIFT] F7, my good, good old friend.
Yesterday was a slump. I wrote about 700 words before re-reading everything and wanting to put a bullet through my skull. Everything sounded so uninspired, like I was filling the pages with words, waiting for a stroke of imaginative brilliance to hit me. To be fair, it's still a lot more productive than sitting around Tumbling and waiting for that to happen, but with each labored letter I can feel all those words - meaningless, meaningless - go down the drain.
The day before was a lot better, which may have been what catalyzed my literary sugar crash. I had a breakthrough with my main characters in terms of dialogue, and for the first time in 7 days, felt like what I wasn't writing wasn't generic word-fillers after all. Don't get me wrong, I'm in no delusions about how much I'm going to trash by the time all of this is over, but the less typed-out miscarriages that happen, the better. I don't know how much baby-text hemorrhaging I can take before my heart gives.
Here's an excerpt of that bit of dialogue I was so proud of:
And that's it. Am I proud? Yes. But only because I'm personally getting a hold on my characters' personalities better. I wouldn't for the life of me publish this as is - there are way too many character introductions, the prose is flat and choppy, and the narrative still isn't as strong as I'd like. But is it a good start?
It is. It is a good start.
I won't type too much for my first blog, and I've got to get writing soon. So, seeya!
Alvin just left the house, meaning its me and Ella again. Alone. So fun.
Miracles of miracles, I've managed to get my Microsoft Word starting again. And by 'managed' I mean 'Have no idea what happened but one day it wasn't working and today it is'. So that means fareWELL Google Docs and hello, [SHIFT] F7, my good, good old friend.
Yesterday was a slump. I wrote about 700 words before re-reading everything and wanting to put a bullet through my skull. Everything sounded so uninspired, like I was filling the pages with words, waiting for a stroke of imaginative brilliance to hit me. To be fair, it's still a lot more productive than sitting around Tumbling and waiting for that to happen, but with each labored letter I can feel all those words - meaningless, meaningless - go down the drain.
The day before was a lot better, which may have been what catalyzed my literary sugar crash. I had a breakthrough with my main characters in terms of dialogue, and for the first time in 7 days, felt like what I wasn't writing wasn't generic word-fillers after all. Don't get me wrong, I'm in no delusions about how much I'm going to trash by the time all of this is over, but the less typed-out miscarriages that happen, the better. I don't know how much baby-text hemorrhaging I can take before my heart gives.
Here's an excerpt of that bit of dialogue I was so proud of:
“No!” Rain grabbed her phone back from Sandhya’s palm “You all say like this, is because you don’t want go find him. You all are selfish! 他随时都可能丧失性命，可是你们都不管.” She stomped off, back towards the bend where Adelia had found her. The girls watched as she marched away, a slowly disappearing figure sandwiched between hot sun and white sand.
“Maybe I should go help her.” Adelia spoke up. “She’ll be back” Natasha glanced at her, then at the speck that was quickly becoming Rain’s silhouette. “Let her deal with this on her own.” “Is that the girl with the boyfriend?” Another girl, dressed up in all black with dark purple lipstick and eerily pale skin chimed in. She had a soft Singaporean accent. Adelia remembered her as the girl who sat across from her on the boat. A streak of olive green ran down the fringe portion of her hair, glowing in places where the sun hit it. “Fucking stupid lah,” A second Chinese girl added. She was fat, an even softer, fattier fat than Eza. “We’re all stranded here in god-knows-where and she’s getting so upset over a boy.” Goth girl looked at the chubby Chinese girl approvingly. “I know right?” Encouraged, she went on went on “All these Cina Cina types can be so fucking dumb lah, she’s going to starve to death also don’t care.” Despite having been shouted at by Rain seconds earlier, Sandhya looked miffed at the goth and fat Chinese girl.
“Guys, I honestly don’t think that’s fair. Rain just lost someone who might have saved her life, we should respect that.” “True,” Natasha nodded thoughtfully at this. “But she would have survived even if she stayed on the boat. In case you haven’t noticed, we all did.” Goth girl eyed Sandhya apathetically “If anything, she probably killed him by jumping off the boat together.” “And then she can still blame us for not going to look for the boyfriend she killed.” Chubby Chinese girl jumped in with an enthusiastic zeal. Eza snapped at the girl “Wow you’re a special kind of stupid aren’t you?” “Hello, I’m just stating the truth, oKAY? Cannot tahan then just don’t listen.” Chubby Chinese girl snapped back
“SHUT UP!” Adelia couldn’t stand this sort of bullshit any longer. She felt like head was going to explode. “SHUT UP ALL OF YOU. You fucking mangkuks lah, if the girl wants to cry, or look for her boyfriend, or dig her damn nose, let her lah.” She turned on Chubby Chinese girl. “No one’s hating on you for being a damn racist-” “Oi, I’m Chinese okay? I can-”
But Adelia completely ignored her. Her frustration was too strong to divert or ease. “We’ve been here for hours and the sun is going down and we have almost nothing to show for it. Where are we going to sleep? What are we going to eat? How long are we going to be here?” She counted off her fingers, feeling panic as the realization rooted itself deeper than she had originally thought - they were all screwed. “Rain went to look for her boyfriend because she had to, so let’s just shut up and do what we have to do before things get worse.” “Okay,” Natasha folded her arms and appraised her calmly. Her expression was unreadable “And how do you suggest we do that? Seeing as you seem to,” She waved her hand lazily “Know exactly what we have to do.”
And that's it. Am I proud? Yes. But only because I'm personally getting a hold on my characters' personalities better. I wouldn't for the life of me publish this as is - there are way too many character introductions, the prose is flat and choppy, and the narrative still isn't as strong as I'd like. But is it a good start?
It is. It is a good start.
I won't type too much for my first blog, and I've got to get writing soon. So, seeya!
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